{"id":336,"date":"2009-05-07T13:47:04","date_gmt":"2009-05-07T19:47:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.skipfitz.net\/blog\/?p=336"},"modified":"2009-05-07T13:47:04","modified_gmt":"2009-05-07T19:47:04","slug":"when-you-care-enough-to-wound-the-very-best","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.skipfitz.net\/blog\/?p=336","title":{"rendered":"When You Care Enough To Wound the Very Best"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Went to a Hallmark warehouse &#8220;flea market&#8221; sale today where they promised us&#8211;promised!&#8211;mannequins for sale. \u00c2\u00a0Right there on the flyer; right there in black ink on a pastel blue background they wrote, &#8220;Dude. \u00c2\u00a0Mannequins. \u00c2\u00a0Come get some.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m not sure why they didn&#8217;t write that in verse.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, I grabbed my wife, she grabbed me back (turns out, not so much fun the other way around; we&#8217;re no longer doing the grabbing thing) and we headed off to Crown Center to score a coup on some Kim <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0093493\/\">Cattralls<\/a>. \u00c2\u00a0 By the time we work our way through the crowd, we find the mannequins failed to make an appearance. \u00c2\u00a0They just never showed. \u00c2\u00a0(Sure, there were a few dress form mannequins, but their lack of arms, heads and legs, that&#8217;s like ordering a sticky-sweet bear claw and getting a doughnut hole for your troubles.)<\/p>\n<p>Where is the justice? \u00c2\u00a0Where is the love? \u00c2\u00a0Where is the lawyer for a possible lawsuit?<\/p>\n<p>Alas, to fulfill my dreams of an army of mannequins dressed up in Halloween costumes (for Halloween, by the way, not costumed for, say, Mother&#8217;s day), I&#8217;ll be forced to troll Craig&#8217;s List again. (Which is always a little discouraging, what with the ads typically suggesting the use of a mannequin for sale being, &#8220;For Halloween, parties or whatever.&#8221; \u00c2\u00a0It&#8217;s the last one that gets me; I&#8217;m forced to avoid all thoughts of what &#8220;whatever&#8221; might be.)<\/p>\n<p>Clearly, I live my life abused and betrayed by authorities.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Went to a Hallmark warehouse &#8220;flea market&#8221; sale today where they promised us&#8211;promised!&#8211;mannequins for sale. \u00c2\u00a0Right there on the flyer; right there in black ink on a pastel blue background they wrote, &#8220;Dude. \u00c2\u00a0Mannequins. \u00c2\u00a0Come get some.&#8221; I&#8217;m not sure why they didn&#8217;t write that in verse. Anyway, I grabbed my wife, she grabbed me [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-336","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-live-a-little"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skipfitz.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/336","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skipfitz.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skipfitz.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skipfitz.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skipfitz.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=336"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.skipfitz.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/336\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":337,"href":"https:\/\/www.skipfitz.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/336\/revisions\/337"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skipfitz.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skipfitz.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=336"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skipfitz.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}