You’ve Lost That Bohemian Rhapsody

Wednesday, November 19th, 2008

I was but a wee one in ’86, back when Lionel was ruling the charts with “Say You, Say Me” (naturally), so when the otherwise awesome flyboy action of Top Gun was momentarily interrupted by a silly bar room seduction scene, I didn’t recognize what the hell Tom Cruise was singing as he tried to get into Kelly McGillis’s panties.  Blame me not, I was ten years old and more into Huey Lewis than I was the Righteous Brothers.  Scientology’s (poor) rendition of You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ sounded foreign to me, and I couldn’t wait for him to finish singing and jump back into a jet where he belonged.

Still, it was only now, twenty-two years later, this morning, an hour ago, when I realized I no longer associate that song with Top Gun.  That is, when I hear it, I think, “Righetous Brothers”, not Maverick and Ice Man (who had their own love story to work out), and even though I was already familiar with Queen’s Greatest Hits by the time Wayne made his way into the world, it took me years to stop associating Bohemian Rhapsody with Mike Meyers and Dana Carvey.

I’m finally growing up.  Or my brain cells are dying and my memories are kaputing.


Tuesday, November 4th, 2008

I voted today.

“But, Skippy,” you say, “didn’t it hurt? The big kids, the ones who stand behind the school and smoke cigarettes, they say it’s painful.”

It ain’t painful, baby, it’s nice. And exciting. And in some places, a little warm and moist. You might be frightened the first time you do it; you might be scared and try to pull away at the last moment, but don’t worry. The fear only lasts the first few seconds, and soon after–your face flushed with excitement–you’re enjoying the pushing, the pointing, the tell-tale signs of pleasure as you pick and prefer, almost grunting in delight as the screen glows and responds to your skillful touch; a seductive yes to this, a demur no to that, an initiative, a referendum, a recall, a representative, a pres-e-dent; and then, just as you feel you can’t enjoy one more sheer ounce of it, where you’ve reached the apex, the peek, the golly gee whiz end-all muthafuggingcrescendo of a quaking, shivering poke and prod of the Cast Ballot button–

–it’s over. You even sigh a little.

“I wanna do it again!” you insist. “I betcha I can even make it last longer.”

No doubt, no doubt. But, don’t be greedy, let others grab a piece. There’ll be another time, I promise. In the meantime, talk to your pals, your buddies, your comrades; see if they’ve voted, and if not, entice them with your own story. After all, sometimes it can be more fun in groups.

Big O’ Tree

Monday, November 3rd, 2008

I had a larger post planned out, but after chewing my pencil and tip-tapping the keys over and over again, I figured my one political post doesn’t need to be eloquent, smarmy or overlong.  All I can really need to say is that while a lot of the usual political issues have and continue to contribute to my decision, I’m voting this year mainly for social issues.  Specifically, I think we’re on the cusp of finally righting the inexcusable wrong of denying same-sex marriages.

As an independent, I don’t particularly care for either major political party; I think it’s wise to cast a skeptical eye at any person who yearns for and embraces power (very few will wield it justly, or compassionately), and I have few illusions that politicians are looking out for anyone but their perceived voter base.

That said, this year I’m planning on voting Democratic because I feel they have the best chance of creating and feeding the political environment that will help same-sex marriage become a recognized partnership both nationally and in every state.  I’m tired of the bigotry, weary of the injection of religious fundamentalism into our secular government, and just plain sick of the disingenuous, whiny melodramatics given voice by unsupported and patently ridiculous protests such as “It’ll destroy the insitution of marriage!”  Since same-sex marriage has been legal in Massachusettes and California, it has destroyed nothing, is destroying nothing and will continue to destroy nothing.  What will destroy a marriage?  The two people involved. (Also, aliens.  Sometimes, vampires.)

So, while I don’t think Obama is the best choice (his election year willingness to back down over the telecoms and the government spying on Americans still annoys me), I do think he’s a step in the right direction.  And I’ll illustrate my decision by marking a giant “X” next to his name tomorrow morning.

… well, I’ll push a button next to his name.  Stupid electronic voting.