Having briefly touched on Free To Be… You And Me in my last post, I wandered over to the glorious video archive of YouTubia and watched a few segments of the film, briefly reliving my elementary school days where we were first introduced to Marlo Thomas and friends through a reel-to-reel filmstrip while sitting cross-legged (back then known as sittin’ “Indian-style”). It wasn’t class, it was almost like watching a movie, so we grooved to the already outdated music and watched people whose celebrity power had dimmed before my generation had grown cognizant enough to learn to keep our nose-pickings private. (Stupid rules of social etiquette.)
Now, almost twenty-five years since I first saw the film, that time capsule of charming yet corny childhood lessons has new meaning. Yes, the music is still outdated, and yes, Michael Jackson looks normal in his song-and-dance scene with the talented Ms. Flack, but holy cow! How in the world did I not realize back then that Marlo Thomas was incredibly hot? Phil Donahue, you stud! That Girl, indeed.
I’ve also learned new lessons from old friends. Do you recall the segment where our noble heroine, Tender Sweet Young Thing, learned a thing or two about being uppity? If not, here’s a refresher:
As children we were supposed to come away with 1.) A fear of tigers dressed like raccoons, and 2.) An appreciation for the comeuppance of those who are rude and arrogant. But, as an adult, I’ve finally learned the real list of lessons:
- Don’t be proud of who you are, for you will be killed.
- Even those whose tires are less inflated with hubris are left to die (the video never explains their fate).
- Consequently, since your time is short no matter the social niceties you’ve mastered, you might as well go hog-wild and set free your inner-Tender Sweet Young Thing. Besides, she was the only happy one in the bunch.
- Mangoes are the ambrosia of Satan: eat one and bring doom down on your group.
- Tigers wear jerseys.
Frankly, I’m not sure how I missed such wisdom the first time around.